a trip to the moon

amidst the bleakness the dread the hopelessness the i don't know what's fucking wrong in my head-- it's like a warmth so bright my chest swells up and explodes i'd breathe this in forever maybe if i could

i mean surely you have some inkling - you know i'd do anything for you

something particularly painful about being told how successful i'm set up to be and smart i am but i'm [...] to stay sane

i think you once told me that i was good at being alone the exact words slip my mind - but it haunts me am i alone?

i feel like simon in la captive / the dust or your dog or the sky or the fog